Most people want a simplicity. Most people want a love. Most people just want someone to be there whether you need them or not.  Yet people seem to have these opportunities at their door step and  somehow they don't see it. Even if they do, there's no reaction to it, there's no recognizance of it, sometimes they don't even know it.  I know it I just can't get it. 

So here I'am at Ben's computer in  Stillwater, when I should be at home, but oh well....I ran across a rather compelling thought in my head today. Well it sounds compelling to me.  I've always thought to myself, " Collin touch the world, mend one broken body at a time and in time you will have touched the world and in a way effectively changed it."  What if I can't see the change, how will I know it's there. More importantly what's it's gonna do for Me?  Absolutely nothing, will I feel ovewhelmed with joy and happiness? Probably not. Will I see what I've done to help others and want to keep on wanting to do it? Hopefully so.  

Sometimes if feels like I'm in this huge hot tub and my life just keeps getting on recirculated through that same jet seeing the things I have already seen and already done.  I want the new adventures to happen and I also kind of want to finish the old ones.  I have the worst realization that one day, I'm going to wake up and not be happy with who I'am and what I'am.  I'm wondering are there things in the past I missed out on that I should have been apart of?  Are there people out there that I just didn't give enough attention to or I just didn't care about what they had to say.  Are there people out there that no matter what you do now, you can't get them back the same way they were, before you lost contact?

None of this is really important, I just needed to ramble and write it down than somed